A Birthday Carol
by zeewriter
Summary: How do you get a man to wake up and smell the roses? Bring in three ghosts to give him a swift kick in the behind. Written for FarDareisMai2's birthday.
1. Chapter 1

**For the woman I worship, FarDareisMai2, Happy Birthday!!!**

**Prompts: Ghost, Scrooge, and laptop…**

**Please go read the rest of the wonderful stories written for FDM: http:// www . fanfiction . net/s/5596037/1/Happy_Birthday_FDM (remove the spaces)**

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**A Birthday Carol**

**By ZeeWriter**

**Disclaimer: I, in no way, am Stephenie Meyer or Charles Dickens. :o)**

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I sat and stared at my laptop for what seemed like an interminable amount of time. I had debated sending Jasper an email, wondering what his reaction would be hearing from me after all of these years. Three years to be exact. The last time I saw him was when his wife and my best friend, Alice had passed away from pancreatic cancer. A few years before then, my own wife had died. I couldn't cope with all of the loss around me and I retreated into myself, essentially become a hermit. A pissed off hermit at that.

I scared off anyone that came knocking on my door. I just didn't want to deal with any nosy neighbors or bratty children. During holidays, I was nicknamed Scrooge because I would scream at everybody. I didn't give out candy on Halloween and, being the pianist that I was, I couldn't bear to hear the off-key singing of the Christmas carolers. Could you really blame me though? I lost my wife and best friend, the two most important people in my life within years of each other. I was a living mess. Jasper had tried to help me deal, but I shrugged him off. He was too good for me, I loved him…like a brother…but I never wanted him to see me like this.

That was until a few days ago.

I was staring into oblivion, into nothingness. Oh sure, the television was on and some stupid reality program was playing, but ask me if I knew what was going on, and I couldn't tell you shit. I heard the familiar sound of an incoming email come from my laptop. I got up from my comfortable spot on the couch, a well-worn spot mind you, and dragged my ass to the office. I sat down in my rolling chair and pulled up to my desk.

The screensaver was on display, showing pictures of a much happier time. I wasn't sure why I tortured myself with the pictures, but I did. There was the photo of me and Bella at our wedding, giving way to the photo of Alice and Jasper after the birth of their son, Peter. Then there was a picture of me and Jasper. I never noticed the picture before. It was from one of his birthdays. Our arms were around the other's shoulder and we were looking at each other, smiling. The next picture came up, but I pressed the arrow key to go back to the previous picture.

I had always felt a connection to Jasper, just never knew what it was. I was looking into his blue eyes, giving him a genuine smile. _Goodness, I haven't smiled like that in ages._ He was a good man, a great man. I loved him…like a brother.

The new photo came up, taking me out of my mind and back to the present. I moved the mouse to inactivate the screensaver and clicked through the open tabs on the browser until I found my email. There was a new email waiting in my inbox from user _ThisIsYourLife_. I didn't know this person, so deleted it. I hated getting spam.

I stood up and started to walk away when another beep indicated a new email message. I checked the laptop and there was another message from _ThisIsYourLife_. This time there was a subject heading: "Please do not delete. You must read this."

I rolled my eyes. "You have got to be kidding me," I said to no one. I deleted the new message and stood up once more. Another beep sounded, another message.

_ThisIsYourLife_ sent me another message. The subject this time was, "God, Edward you are so thick. Stop deleting and read."

"What the fuck?" I looked around my office. This had to be some kind of joke. Someone could see in and see me deleting the messages. But that was entirely impossible because there were no windows in my office. I was thoroughly confused, and admittedly, scared. It was just a little too freaky that as soon as I deleted a new message would appear with messages directed right at me.

I took the gamble and opened the message.

_Dear Edward,_

_Thank you for finally opening the email. You don't know how difficult it is to communicate with you like this. Well, for starters. I miss you. I know it's weird for me to say that, considering how much I used to hate you. So, let me rephrase that, I missed fighting with you. Is that better? _

_Now, before you think it… you're not going crazy._

"Right, and I'm reading an email from a dead guy…" I said aloud.

_And you really should stop talking to yourself. I'm not dead, I'm changed. You know how it is on the reservation. Our spirits never die, just our physical forms. _

I looked around my room again. This _had_ to be a prank.

_No this isn't a prank._

"Get out of my head."

_I'm not in your head, but you are predictable. Now, listen carefully… or read carefully as it were. You're going to be visited by three ghosts._

Ghosts? What the fuck was this? A Christmas Carol.

_Yes, just like a Christmas Carol, except, it's not really Christmas, and you're on your laptop as opposed to seeing me in person. Which would you have preferred? Anyway, it's not Christmas, but it will be Jasper's birthday soon and apparently you need a swift kick in the ass to get you moving and with Jasper._

"With Jasper? He's like a brother."

_Yeah, we get he's like a brother, but we all know there's more to it than that and you guys need each other? Need proof. Then pay attention to the three ladies that'll you see. You should recognize them. _

_Later, sucker… and take a bath. If I didn't know better, you smell like a wet dog. ;)_

_Jacob_

I couldn't believe what I had just read. Jacob had been dead for as long as Bella. They were actually together, heading to see Billy, Jake's father, when their car was hit by an eighteen-wheeler that ran a red light. Bella died instantly, Jacob was in a coma for a few days before his father pulled the plug.

I shook my head when I realized I was about to take this seriously. I didn't believe in ghosts and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Jasper wouldn't want to hear from me. Why would he? I abandoned him when he needed me the most.

I went back into the living room and sprawled out on my couch again. I fluffed the pillow and wrapped the blanket around me. I gazed at the television until I finally fell asleep.

An hour later, or what felt like an hour later, as I had lost track of time a long time ago, I woke up to the sound of giggling.

"Edward, sweetie, you're going to get crumbs all over yourself."

Huh? It was my mother's voice, but my mother died when I was ten years old. I looked around the room and saw the old fireplace in my parents' home along with some of my old Legos and my microscope set that I had been given as a birthday gift. I must still be dreaming.

A moment later, a young me ran in front of me and dropped to the floor. He was holding a cookie in his hand and had no napkin. I was about to yell at him, or myself, for making a mess. I hated getting crumbs on anything; they were always a pain in the ass to clean up later. My mother followed behind with napkins. She was in a pair of off-white slacks and a similar colored v-neck sweater. It was what we had buried her in.

"Here, use this to wipe your hands." She handed the young me the napkins then turned to the current me and winked.

"Mom?" I questioned.

"I was wondering when you'd see me and say something," she responded taking a seat next to me.

"You're talking to me. This is a dream then," I reasoned. "It has to be," I added more to myself.

"No, you're not dreaming. I'm here, in the flesh… or rather undead flesh? An apparition? A ghost? Oh whatever I'm called, but I'm here." She snapped her finger and in a flash we were transported back to my home and my couch.

"What is going on?" I asked.

"You did read the email Jacob sent, didn't you?" she quirked a brow a me.

"Umm…yes, I just assumed-"

"Yes, you do that often. He was right. I'm here and you obviously recognize me. I never did thank you for the outfit. I'm glad I can look good for eternity now," she mused straightening her top. "Now, do you know why I'm here?" I shook my head. "Of course not. I love you, darling, but you always did have your head stuck up your ass, or Bella's or Jasper's," she smirked.

My eyes went wide at the mention of Jasper. "What do you mean, Jasper?"

"I remember the first time you met Jasper. You looked at him with such disdain; I really thought you were going to rip his head off. At first I thought you were jealous of him because he was taking Alice away from you, then I took another look…"

I blinked and instantaneously we were back at my parents' home. My fifteen year old self was in the kitchen grabbing the carton of milk from the refrigerator. There was a knock on the door and my mother called out that she would answer. I could hear my mother talking to our new guests and informing them I was in the kitchen.

A moment later, Alice and Jasper appeared. I was about to take a sip of the milk when I noticed Jasper.

"What were you really thinking, Edward?" my mother asked me.

I thought back to that day, watching my reaction to Jasper's presence. I remembered thinking how gorgeous he was and how Alice would never leave his side. I couldn't blame her, he was stunning. His blond hair was shaggy and you can see his piercing blue eyes through the long locks falling over his face. I followed his hand as he swept his hair back, giving me a better view of his rosy cheeks and his small, but pouty lips. I watched as my younger self closed his eyes, wanting to remember Jasper exactly like that.

Then I was angry. It was wrong of me to think about Jasper in any way other than as Alice's boyfriend. I was angry that he chose her instead of me. I was angry at Alice for dangling him in front of me like the sweetest candy, but not letting me taste. My face grew hard and I ran out of the room.

"Edward! Come back!" Alice called to me. She turned to Jasper. "I don't get it. He's never reacted like to this to any of my previous boyfriends. Can you wait here? I'm going to talk to him. Feel free to look around, his parents are cool and won't mind."

Alice disappeared to follow teenage me to my bedroom. I looked at my mom. "Should we follow, too?" She shook her head and pointed to Jasper.

Jasper glanced around the kitchen, but there wasn't much to see. With his hands in his jeans pockets, he sauntered out into the living room. My mother followed and motioned to go along with her. There was Jasper in all his teenage glory with a framed picture of me in his hand. It was a picture of me taken during the summer. I was wearing nothing but my swim trunks and I was carrying a surfboard. I watched as Jasper's free hand came up and his thumb slowly grazed the picture.

"Looks like someone had similar feelings," my mother mused.

"How could that be, he was totally in love with Alice?"

"He loved her with all of his heart, there's no doubt about that. But, he always had a place for you, too. You just never realized it."

"No. No. NO NO NO NO NO!" I screamed. I backed away from the vision. "Mom, he's not… I'm not… It couldn't be…" My mind was having trouble reconciling the truth. "NO!" I closed my eyes tight not wanting to believe what I was seeing.

When I opened them again, I was back in my home. The television was on and…

I fell off the couch. I hadn't noticed that I was hanging onto the edge. My mother had disappeared. I was alone again. It was all a dream. I lifted myself off the floor, shook my legs and arms out. It was all a dream. Just a dream. Jasper never felt that way for me. My mind was just playing tricks on me. That was all.

I went into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. I needed something stronger. I was hallucinating. My mother hadn't been here, it was all a dream. Right? I looked around the cabinets where I kept most of my medication. I had been put on anti-depressants and sleep aids after Bella's death and I knew I still had some tablets lying around.

"Aha! Found you," I exclaimed to no one. As I raised my arm to grab the pill bottle, I caught a scent of my underarm. "Whoa, Jacob was right; I do smell like wet dog."

I popped open the bottle of sleeping pills and took two out. They were a bit old so much of the potency was gone. I tossed the pills down and followed them with a deep swig of water.

I climbed upstairs to my bedroom. I only ever came in here for a change of clothes. After Bella died, I couldn't find it in myself to sleep in the bed we shared without her. I slept on the couch most days or in the guest bedroom if my back became too stiff. I grabbed a new set of pajamas from the dresser and sauntered to bathroom.

I turned all the hot water on and just a tad of the cold so the water was just barely scalding. I let the steam rise as I undressed and tossed my dirty clothes into the hamper. I had to admit that I was letting myself go too much. I had always been meticulous with my body. Bella used to joke that I was such a girl because I took longer to get ready. Everything had to be perfect. Jasper understood that…

Jasper. Yes, we had a conversation once where we spoke about our primping habits. The four of us were going out to dinner and Alice was complaining that Jasper was taking too long in the bathroom.

"_I have no idea why he takes forever, he always comes out looking the same way he did going in," she whined. "I thought I was bad, but he's worse. Maybe you can talk some sense into him, Edward. You speak guy." _

"_Good luck," Bella scoffed. I wasn't sure if she was talking to me or Alice. Bella had her share of complaints as well._

"_What's guy speak?" I inquired, totally amused at Alice's whining._

"_I don't know. You're a guy, he's a guy. You can communicate with other. Now go up there and talk to him." She shooed me out and I waltzed to the bathroom._

_I rapped on the door twice. Jasper called out, "I'll be out in a minute, Alice."_

"_It's not Alice."_

"_Oh." A few seconds later, the door was opened and Jasper was standing there with only a towel wrapped around his waist. "Hey Edward. Did Alice send you up to rush me out of here?" I nodded, not taking my eyes off of his well-chiseled chest and abs. "Edward?"_

"_Huh?" I was brought back, by Jasper's snapping fingers. I wiped my mouth to be sure I wasn't drooling. _

"_I was asking what Alice was saying. Was she complaining that I don't look any different after spending an hour in the bathroom?" he chuckled._

"_Yeah, she was," I replied with a small smile._

"_Yes, well the shaggy look doesn't come naturally, but it has to look natural, right?" As Jasper spoke, he scooped some pomade into his hand and proceeded to make his hair naturally shaggy. I couldn't help but watch as the muscles in his arms moved as he applied the substance to his hair. The way the muscles contracted and released. The way his fingers stroked through his hair. I felt a stirring in my groin and knew I had to leave before things got messy._

_I rubbed the back of my neck, wishing for a moment I could rub something else. "I…umm…I'm going to head back down." I shifted on my feet before turning and exiting._

"_Hey, Edward?" Jasper called out. I turned back. "Thanks for coming up," he joked and then he winked. Fuck._

I came back to the present. The bathroom was nice and steamy as I stepped into the tub. The water felt delicious running down my body. The pills were starting to kick in and I was relaxing under the stream of the water. I leaned my forehead against the tiled wall and took deep breaths. The day was getting stranger by the minute and I had hoped the pills would work and I could sleep until the next day. That was all I needed. A good night's sleep and all the craziness would be gone.

"You always did have a gorgeous ass," Bella sighed.

"Thanks, love."

"You're very welcome," she whispered close to me. I opened my eyes and jumped back almost slipping on the wet floor as I saw Bella standing in front of me.

"Jesus Fucking Christ!" I screamed trying to cover myself up with my hands.

"Why are you hiding from me? It's not like I haven't seen your dick before or felt it inside of me," she winked.

I closed my eyes and counted to ten. "Please let this be a figment of my imagination."

"No figment. I'm here."

I opened my eyes and sure enough she still stood in front of me. I raised my hand and tried to touch her, but it went right through her only grasping air.

"I know. I wish you could touch me, too. You don't know how much I miss you, Edward." She took a step closer to me and wrapped her arms around me. I felt a shiver pass through my body, but no flesh. Bella sighed again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't even bother. There's no need to give you a false sense of hope."

"Am I dead? Were the pills poisoned after all of this time?" I stammered.

Bella shook her head. "No, you're alive and well and wasting water, by the way."

"You're a ghost, then?" She nodded. "You're the second ghost that Jacob mentioned?" She nodded again. I wanted to cry. It wasn't fair that of all the people who could have visited me, Bella would come back. Taunting me, showing me how alone I was.

"You're not alone, Edward." Great, she could read my mine. "Yes and I will repeat. You're not alone. Come on, the water is going to get cold and there's something I want to show you. I'll wait for you in your office." And just like that, she disappeared.

"Can't any of these ghosts make normal appearances?" I asked out loud.

"Nope!" I heard Bella call from downstairs. I rolled my eyes.

I finished up in the shower and shut the water off. I stepped out, grabbed the towel and dried myself. I looked at the mirror and noticed a message scrawled through the steam in Bella's handwriting.

_I love you always, no matter what happens._

I smiled, reminded by how Bella used to leave me notes like that when she was alive.

I got dressed and headed down to my office. As promised, Bella was there, standing, or more accurately floating, by the desk.

"Sit," she commanded. I sat down in my chair as directed. "Go to your pictures folder and open up the folder labeled _July 24, 2000_." Our wedding day. I opened the folder and all the pictures and videos displayed in chronological order.

"What do you want me to see?" I asked looking up at her.

"Open the video clip of our first dance." I did as told and waited for the video to begin playing.

"_Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to present Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen for their first dance," Emmett announced._

_My beautiful bride and I appeared on the screen. I pulled her to the middle of the dance floor and placed one hand on her hip and took her other in my hand. I held her close as we danced. I was a proud husband and I wanted everyone to know she was mine._

_The camera spanned the room, gauging people's reaction. Our parents were crying, as well as several friends. There was a close up of Jasper. His eyes were watery, but he looked upset._

"I don't understand. Why is he upset?" I asked. Bella shushed me and pointed at the screen to keep watching.

_The camera zoomed back to us. Bella and I were engaged in a deep kiss and the crowd was whooping and hollering, egging us on. Bella pulled away embarrassed, her cheeks flushed from both the kiss and the attention. I gave her another peck on the lips and soon after we were joined by the rest of the couples on the dance floor. _

_The camera scanned the room again and stopped at Jasper and Alice. They appeared to be arguing and Alice kept gesturing to us, me specifically. Jasper shook his head. He walked out of the reception hall._

"I don't get it." I didn't remember Jasper leaving, then again I didn't remember much of anything that day except that I got married to the woman I loved.

"Do you remember anything you said to him the night before the wedding?" Bella asked.

"Nope, but I was too drunk to really think about it. Your brother did a good job of keeping me hammered all night."

"Well, it seems you and Jasper had a little heartfelt one-to-one and you made a promise to him…after you kissed him."

I blinked a few times. "What? I kissed Jasper?" That couldn't be. I would remember having another man's lips on mine, especially Jasper's.

"Yeah, this is exactly what he was upset about. The argument with Alice was in regards to the kiss. Jasper came clean to her about his feelings towards you because you apparently made it clear to him that you liked him way more than just as a best buddy."

"Shit," I shook my head.

"There's an old proverb that says 'a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.' So…was there something you needed to tell me?" Bella smirked, raising an eyebrow.

I opened and closed my mouth several times, not knowing what to say. "Umm…I do love Jasper. He's like-"

"A brother… Yes we know. That is your favorite line, but your words and actions say otherwise. So what do you really feel for him?" She crossed her arms waiting for an answer.

I had to smile at the look on her face. She was still so beautiful, even when dead. I hated that she was taken from me so suddenly…

"I'm waiting for an answer, stop thinking about me. We're talking about Jasper here."

I snickered at her petulance. "Jasper…Yes, I can honestly say I find him attractive. I've always found him attractive really. I had these urgings for him, but he was with Alice, my best friend. I couldn't take him away from her, she would have been devastated. Then you came along. You were perfect for me. You completed me in ways I never thought imaginable…" I paused. I stood up from the chair and begin pacing the room.

"But…" she urged, her eyes following me.

"But, there was still something missing."

"A cock?"

I looked at Bella, taken by surprise. "When did you become so crass?"

"Since I died," she shrugged. "There's no point in beating around the bush and it's not like anyone can strike me dead for saying something outrageous," she snickered.

"Right. Well, I won't go that far to say that I was missing a…cock. Hell, I've never been with a man before and I can't even remember kissing Jasper." I leaned against my desk, my arms at either side of me and stared directly at Bella. "But yes, I felt like I was missing him. He always knew when I need to be calmed; he was always there for me whenever you and I argued. He was the one that comforted me when you passed. His presence was just…right for me."

It felt strange, but liberating to speak about my feelings towards Jasper to Bella. I married her, she was my life, my confidant and here I was telling her about someone else, another man no less.

"Edward, don't feel weird about talking to me. I want you to be happy; I don't want you to be alone anymore. It's not healthy and really, you're scaring the kids in the neighborhood. The rumors about you are starting to get out of control."

"Rumors?" True, I was in my own little bubble here, but in keeping to myself, I didn't think anyone would have anything to say about me.

"Yes, there's one rumor that you have some weird disease that doesn't allow you to be outside. I'm not sure what they're talking about there, but my favorite? You're a vampire that sparkles in the sunlight and that is why you never go out."

We both started laughing at that. A sparkly vampire? Where did these kids come up with these ideas?

"Anyway, Edward, you need to get out. Have fun, see the world again. More importantly, go see Jasper. He needs you. So does Peter." If ghosts could cry, I was sure Bella would be crying. We had been trying for children and I had found out she was pregnant the day she died. Not only did I lose Bella, but I lost my child.

"Bel-" I reached out to comfort her but she just shook her head.

"It's okay, Edward, but, please, take care of them. For Alice. For me." With those final words, she floated away in a mist and disappeared.

I rubbed my eyes with the heels of hands. I didn't know what to do. I was totally confused and honestly, still felt as though I was imagining everything that was happening to me. If I felt like I was hallucinating then my feelings for Jasper weren't real either.

No…I knew I was lying to myself. My feelings for Jasper always lay dormant. I never acted on them – well except for the one time I apparently kissed him. As I told Bella, she was my everything; I had no reason to ruin that over a little crush I had with my best friend's boyfriend and future husband.

Besides, I was shell of myself. I was void and empty inside and incapable of love anymore. After the deaths of Alice and Bella, I made sure to keep my distance from people. I never wanted to get close to anyone and have my heart shattered again. It just hurt too much. Jasper wouldn't want me like this. I wouldn't want me like this.

I couldn't do this to myself and I wasn't going to do it to Jasper. End of story. I hoped my ghostly friends heard me.

I walked out to the living room only to stop short as I saw Alice in all her four foot ten glory standing in the middle of the room glaring at me. Her hands were on her hips and she was tapping her foot.

"You know, Edward, you could be so selfish sometimes."

I let out a deep breath that I hadn't realized I was holding in. "Alice…"

"Don't 'Alice' me. You know it isn't always about you. I didn't want to have to go this route, but it looks like I'll have to."

Before I could question her on what she meant, Alice was directly in front of me and the house began spinning rapidly.

"What's-"

"No talking, just watch." The room slowed down and when it completely stopped, I noticed that we were in Jasper's home. Everything looked the same, only worn. We were standing in his living room.

A young man who looked like a male version of Alice came into the room.

"Peter?" I asked. Alice nodded. "So this is the future then?" She nodded again.

Peter appeared to be about twenty-five years old or so. He had his mother's black hair, but his father's eyes and, luckily, his father's height.

"Humph… good things come in small packages you know," Alice stated. "He looks so handsome. I can't believe that grown man came out of my tiny-"

I cut her off quickly. "Right, don't need to hear that. He does look great, but where's Jasper?"

As if on cue, Jasper walked in with a worried look on his face. He was much older than I remembered. His hair was highlighted with grays and he had a small belly, but he was still the handsome man I fell in love with all those years ago.

Wait…what? Fell in love?

"Yeah, that's what I thought. You can't deny it, Edward."

"I…" I was interrupted by a loud, shrieking woman.

"JASPER!!!!!! I NEED YOU! DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!"

"Who the hell is that screaming like a banshee?"

Alice sighed. "That would be Maria."

"Who's Maria?"

Alice pointed and in walked a short olive-skinned woman. She was pretty, but no Alice. She had long brown hair and strolled around the room as though she was queen of the castle.

"God, Peter, what are you doing here? Mooching off your father again? You know you're not going to get any of the money. I made sure of that, so just run along to your little wife."

"Maria, that's enough," Jasper demanded. "Do not talk to my son like that."

"Or what?" Maria challenged. "Are you going to turn into a big bad wolf and eat me alive?" she taunted.

"Dad, she's bleeding you dry like a vampire. She's ruining mom's memory by even being in the house. I've had enough of this and I came to tell you that if you don't get rid of her, Charlotte and I won't come back to visit. Charlotte is pregnant and she can't afford to be around this…this gold-digger you call a wife," Peter spat out.

Bleeding dry? What was going on? I remember Jasper's family came from money, just like mine did. He couldn't be struggling, could he?

Alice answered my unspoken question. "As my wonderful son stated, Maria is a gold-digger. Since you refused to man up and be there for Jasper, he sought solace in that thing. He wasn't in his right mind and she convinced him to marry her without a pre-nup. He was in the hospital sick for a while too and she wrote up a new will, essentially cutting off Peter from his inheritance," she explained. "She's taken him to the bank, literally. There isn't much left, they are just scraping by, but Maria still insists on living the high life." Alice gestured towards Maria and I took a good look at her again.

Everything Maria had on was designer. Manolo Blahnik shoes, Dolce and Gabbana dress, and heavens forbid, she was holding a Chihuahua. I was positive even her underwear was designer brand. Alice nodded enthusiastically.

"Down to the weave," Alice added.

I couldn't believe my eyes. Jasper was allowing this woman to walk all over him. It seemed I wasn't the only one that had become a shell of a man. In his case, he needed a companion and found the first available one. She almost reminded me of that Heather Mills bitch who took advantage of Paul McCartney's grief.

I felt Alice's eyes on me and I turned to her. "What?"

"It's sad isn't it? The man I loved withering away over a woman, instead of thriving with the man he should be with..."

"Ali…please…"

"No, enough of this. There's something else I want you to see." She snapped her fingers and we were outside.

It was beyond freezing and I was shivering. My teeth were chattering as I spoke. "A….li…lice… Why… a…are…we…out…side…" I stuttered.

"Follow me." She turned and floated away from me. I ran to catch up…and to keep warm.

She stopped short, but being that she was transparent, I walked through her and tripped over a stone. I looked down and almost vomited.

I was looking at my headstone.

_Here lies Edward Cullen  
a man, a mystery, a hermit_

I took a few steps back and realized it was a fresh grave. I had just died, but there was no one there to mourn me.

"Of course not, Edward. You secluded yourself so much and pushed everyone who cared about you away, that no one knew you died," Alice stated.

"No, someone has to come. Anyone…."

"What did you expect? Did you notice the date on the tombstone?"

My eyes went back to the epitaph. I re-read the words and underneath was the date.

_December 19, 2045_

Jasper's birthday. I died on his birthday.

"You can remedy this, you know."

"How? Tell me," I pleaded.

Alice held up a finger. "Let's get you someplace warm first." She snapped her finger again and we were back in my home. "Are you ready to listen now?"

I nodded. I took a seat on my couch and Alice sort of flitted about.

"Good, because I'm only going to say this once," she started. "Jasper loves you. He always has. Why? I have no idea. You hurt him on your wedding day. I didn't think you would leave Bella, but he didn't think you would ignore him the way you did either. I understand now that you don't remember the incident the night before, but he took everything you said to heart. He really believed you loved him too but that you also loved Bella. He was willing to share you."

I interrupted Alice. "But, what about you? I thought he loved you. He was going to throw that all away?"

"At first he considered it. Trust me. It killed me when I learned the truth. I wanted to slap you and beat him, but I saw the look in his eyes. The way he would stare at you, it was pure love. Sure he loved me and he grew to love me more over the years, but his heart really belonged to you. I provided the warmth for him at night and, believe me, the sex was great regardless, but I knew it wasn't enough for him.

"When I died, he was devastated, but I knew a small part of him felt free; free to pursue you. Instead you abandoned him. He was alone with a toddler and no one to help him. He had his family, but most of them were in Texas, so they could do little for him. He needed you. He still needs you. It's not too late."

I was quiet for a while, taking in everything Alice just told me. All these wasted years, but would he really receive me with open arms?

"What do I do?" I asked my pixie friend.

"Go to him. Talk to him. Tell him you're sorry for deserting him. He'll understand. You know he will, he always did. Don't leave him alone, protect him from evil, gold-digging banshees. Watch over my son. Love Jasper. Love him with all of your heart. It was never a crush for you, you just never realized it."

Alice started fading away.

"Wait, Alice…."

"You know what to do," she said, her voice almost a whisper. Then she was gone.

I ran my hand through my hair. I had to think of what I was going to do next. Jasper needed me as much as I needed him. I couldn't believe it had taken me this long and three ghosts, no, four ghosts, to make me see it.

I loved him. I loved Jasper. Not as a brother, but as another man, as a companion. My mother, Bella and Alice were all correct. I always loved him, but never saw past my own ignorance or arrogance. You could say I had an image to uphold perhaps. I had a beautiful girlfriend who became my wife, but I was only alive when Jasper was around. He was my light.

I hadn't realized how over the years I would call Jasper instead of Alice whenever I had problems and Jasper would always come running. I played it off as brotherly love. What a friend would do for another, but, no…he really helped me because he loved me. I was so stupid and blind.

So I ran to my laptop and sat…for three days. I couldn't figure out what to say to him.

"Hey, Jasper, remember me? The one who abandoned you?" Yeah, that wasn't going to fly.

Then it hit me. Jasper never moved out of the house he shared with Alice. When we visited him in the future, he was still there. I knew what I had to do.

I took a shower, shaved, and made myself presentable again. I cleaned the living room and sprayed it with some air freshener. Taking a sniff earlier, I noticed the house smelled stale. I suppose that happened when one hardly ever left the house.

I made a few phone calls to charitable organizations, setting up scholarships and trust funds to the children in the neighborhood. I had loads of money I didn't need, might as well do something good with it.

After everything was settled, I put on my best outfit – a pair of charcoal gray pants, a pale green shirt to match my eyes, and a dark v-neck sweater vest. I grabbed my coat and car keys and made my way to the garage, stopping briefly to look at the date on the calendar.

There she was, my beauty, still in pristine condition. The Aston Martin was by far my favorite car and I was worried it wouldn't start from not being used, but true to form, it purred to life when I turned the ignition.

I drove through the streets smoothly, my mind remembering the way even after all of these years. I came upon the house and I felt myself get nervous. What if he shut the door on my face? What if he yelled and screamed and told me to never come back? Could I handle that?

There was only one way of knowing.

I climbed out of the car, locking it behind me and waltzed up to the front door of the mini-mansion. I stared at the door, my finger poised over the doorbell. It was now or never. I pressed the bell before I could lose my nerve.

I waited.

I waited some more.

He wasn't home. I turned back to my car dejectedly. I knew this wouldn't work. Who knew if I would have the courage again to come back. As I approached the car, the door to the house opened and there stood Jasper. One hand was on the doorknob, the other holding little Peter.

"Edward? Is that you?"

"Ummm… yeah," I answered, running my hand through my hair. It was a nervous habit of mine.

"What are you doing here?"

"Ummm…I came to apologize and…talk…I guess."

Jasper's brows furrowed in confusion. "Come in, then. Are those for me?" I was stupidly holding a bouquet of flowers that I had picked up on the way.

"Happy Birthday, Jasper," I said, handing over the flowers sheepishly.

"You remembered," he muttered.

"I…God, Jasper, I'm so sorry. Please…"

"Shhhh...It's okay. I understand." He closed the door and still holding Peter with one hand, he pulled me by the back of the neck with his free hand so we were forehead to forehead. "I've missed you, but I knew you would come around eventually." He tilted his head forward and brushed his lips gently against mine. "Come on, let's talk."

He picked up Peter and led me to the kitchen.

"My god, he's gotten so big. He's four now right?"

Jasper nodded. "Yep, four years old. I still remember when he was born, like it was yesterday. I just gave him a bath, I was about to feed him." He placed Peter in the booster seat attached to one of the chairs. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Sure, water would be fine." I pulled out another seat, sitting across from Peter.

"Dad, who's that?" Peter asked, pointing to me.

"That's your Uncle Edward," Jasper answered. He spooned some food into a bowl for Peter and placed it in front of his soon with a spoon. "Eat up so you can grow into a big boy like me and your uncle." Jasper looked at me and winked.

"Uncle Edward?" Peter questioned, no doubt confused that he now has an uncle that he never met before. "Hmmm… I don't know you. Are you here to stay?"

My eyes met Jasper's and we both smiled. In that one look, I knew we would be okay. We could make this work and we would live happily together.

"Yes. I am here to stay."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: The much awaited sequel! So, I promised Fardareismai2 that I would continue this one-shot for her birthday. While I am about 3 weeks late (I had finals during her birthday and then the holidays came up), I finally finished. So here it is. Enjoy!**

**Fardareismai2: I love you honey and I hope you love this continuation. I have a feeling this will become a yearly event for you. What do you think?**

**Many thanks to gypsysue and Zhivago3 who pre-read and beta'd and made sure that this was even legible for you guys (any other issues are my own). **

**As usual…. I do not own Twilight or A Christmas Carol (I'm just not that old lol)**

* * *

Previously on A Birthday Carol:

"_Uncle Edward?" Peter questioned, no doubt confused that he now has an uncle that he never met before. "Hmmm… I don't know you. Are you here to stay?"_

_My eyes met Jasper's and we both smiled. In that one look, I knew we would be okay. We could make this work and we would live happily together._

"_Yes. I am here to stay."_

**^FDM^**

_**JPOV**_

"Wake up, daddy!"

"Hmmmm," I groaned at being abruptly woken up by my son. I felt his little hands wrap around my forearm as he tried to pull me from the bed.

"Wake up! Get up! Uncle Edward is making Santa pancakes!"

I shot up at the mention of Edward's name. It was real, the day before hadn't been a dream and he was really here. I climbed out of bed and picked up Peter, giving him a kiss on his plump cheek.

"Let's go check out these pancakes, shall we?" Peter shook his head vigorously, a huge grin on his face.

I made my way downstairs, balancing Peter on my hip and following the buttery scent of the fresh pancakes. I stood in the doorway watching Edward. He hadn't heard us, so I stopped to admire his form. He was wearing the white t-shirt and gray sweatpants I lent him the night before. The sweats were a bit tight on Edward – he did have a couple of inches on me – but showcased his ass nicely. I had fantasized about that ass all these years and it was finally, well hopefully, mine.

Peter began wriggling in my arms signaling he wanted to be let down and I happily obliged. He was getting big and no longer the ten pound boy I could hold like a football. I let out a small sigh of regret for the years that had gone by so quickly, it made me nostalgic for the times when he was a baby and Alice was here.

He ran to Edward and pulled on the sweats. Edward stopped what he was doing to look down at Peter.

"Hey, little guy, did you get-" Peter pointed at me effectively answering whatever question Edward was about to ask. Edward turned his face toward me and I saw a faint blush crawl up his cheeks. _Interesting_. "Hey, breakfast is almost ready. I hope you don't mind that I sent Peter up to wake you."

I shook my head. "Not at all. This is a pleasant surprise," I said gesturing at the food that was already prepared. Along with the pancakes, there were scrambled eggs and bacon waiting to be eaten. "You didn't have to. We could have gone-"

"None of that. It's your birthday; I haven't seen you in forever. It's the least I can do for you," he responded, cutting me off. He pointed the spatula in his hand at one of the chairs gesturing to me to sit down. "Go ahead and start. I'm sure you want to feed Peter too."

Peter had already climbed onto his booster seat and sat patiently – he was definitely my child – waiting for me to serve him. I plated a slice of bacon and a small scoop of eggs for him, then one of the Santa pancakes.

"Edward, how in the he… I mean heck did you get these pancakes to look like Santa? When did you even learn to cook?" I asked, taking in the perfect shapes. And they were perfect - a full-figured Santa, rotund belly, big beard and hat. It looked like it came straight off a Coca-Cola can.

Edward turned to me with a perplexed look on his face. "I – I don't know. I just…" He gazed down at the skillet and shook his head. "A miracle I guess?"

"Aunt Bella!" Peter giggled. Edward and I turned to Peter and saw he was staring at a corner of the kitchen. We followed his gaze, but there was nothing there. "She helped," he stated then he went back to eating.

"She seems to be doing that a lot lately," Edward mumbled to himself. Whether I was meant to hear or not I didn't know. I was confused enough as it was with Edward coming back into my life to even consider what was going on at that moment.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Petey?"

"Will Santa be okay if I eat his leg? I don't want to hurt him and then he won't be able to drop off our gifts," Peter contemplated while staring at his plate. I heard Edward chuckle and I held back a grin of my own. Gotta love the innocence of children.

"No, honey, you won't hurt him. You're not eating the real Santa Claus. He's safely in the North Pole gathering all the last minute gifts together and making sure his elves pack up his bags just right," I replied.

"You sure?"

I smiled. "Absolutely positive," I assured him.

He nodded and took a big bite out of Santa's right leg.

**^FDM^**

"He's out like a light," Edward said as he walked back into the living room. After the huge breakfast, Peter grew tired and insisted that Uncle Edward take him upstairs for his nap. Seeing them interact with each other gave me hope for our future. Whatever future that may be.

When Edward appeared in front of my door the evening before, I was stunned, but excited. The look on his face told me everything I needed to know right then and I took the liberty to kiss him. It was nothing deep, but it was enough. The rest of the evening we made small talk while he reacquainted himself with Peter who took an instant liking to him. Unfortunately, it also meant that we weren't able to speak much about our own lives.

Edward sat down on the other end of the couch from me, elbows on his knees, his green eyes staring at the fireplace in front of us.

"So…" he said, still not looking at me. "I'm sure you're wondering why after all of these years I came back." I nodded without saying anything knowing not to interrupt whatever thoughts he had in his head. "I don't think you'd believe me."

"Try me," I stated.

His brows furrowed as he contemplated his next words. "Do you believe in ghosts?" he asked.

I took a deep breath before answering. "I can't say that I don't. Um… I've never actually seen one, but I've felt things, if that makes sense. Things I can't really explain. But, what does this have to do-"

"I saw Alice last night," he interrupted, "and Bella, and my mother. I also spoke to Jacob." He finally looked at me trying to gauge my reaction. I wasn't sure what expression I had on my face but I figured it wasn't good when he said, "Yeah, you don't believe me."

I shook my head of whatever I had and moved closer to him. "No. I d-"

"That's what I figured. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to come-"

I put a hand on his arm as he started to get up. "No, that's not what I meant. I mean no, I do believe you. I don't know why but I do - especially Alice. Maybe not so much Jacob," I smirked. Jacob and Edward hated each other as far as I could remember and most of the hatred came from the fact that Edward had the one thing Jake wanted… Bella.

Edward eased back into the couch, a bit more relaxed from my little tease. "S-sorry. I'm still trying to get my head around it myself," he explained, running his hand through his hair. God, how I'd missed that small, yet constant, gesture of his.

"So, tell me, I'm all ears," I told him, sitting back and getting comfortable. "I want to hear a good ghost story."

He gave me a small smile and began his tale. He told me of the mysterious emails from Jake, then the appearances of Bella, Alice and Esme. I listened with rapt attention as they told him of all the things he couldn't see – or didn't want to see – when it came to me. How I had feelings for him throughout the years that he never acknowledged. When he finished, he looked at me, expectantly.

"Okay," I said, "this still doesn't tell me why you showed up at my doorstep after all of this time."

"Curiosity? Loneliness? Shame? Because I need to feel again and I know I can do that with you?" There were tears in his eyes ready to fall. "Jasper," he whispered, "I've been such a fool. If after all of this time you don't have feelings for me anymore, I can totally understand, but…"

I reached out to him. "My feelings for you haven't gone away, Edward." There was a flicker of hope in his eyes. "Look at me, really look at me." He gazed into my eyes. "What do you see?"

He shook his head. "After what I've put you through, leaving you alone, why would you still want me?"

"I guess it's time for me to tell you a little story…"

_**Many moons ago…**_

"Jazzy, we've been dating for a few days now and, well, I think it's time you met my best friend."

I nearly spurted my soda all over Alice. I had expected her to say she wanted me to meet her parents even though, as she said, we had only dated for a few days… if that. I certainly hadn't expected to hear that she wanted me to meet her best friend. I wasn't sure which would have been scarier. The parents could be insane, but meeting the best friend was like meeting the Siamese twin. On top of that, Alice had never mentioned a best friend only some guy named Edward who I was annoyingly jealous of and hadn't even met yet.

"Well? What do you say? We can stop by his house tomorrow."

"Um… yeah, sure… Wait. What? His house? Your best friend is a dude?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Duh, I'm talking about Edward. Who else could be my best friend?" she asked frustration in her voice. "What's wrong?"

I clenched my eyes shut and took a deep breath before opening them again. "Your best friend is a guy," I repeated. She nodded. "You spend all your time when you're not with me, with another guy?" She nodded again. "You expect me to not feel a teensy bit jealous, Alice?" She laughed. "What about this is funny? My girlfriend's best friend is a guy. Don't you know that men and women aren't allowed to be friends? Guys are only ever after one thing when it comes to girls."

She patted my shoulder gently. "Relax, big boy, Edward is like a brother to me. I would never want to do anything remotely sexual with him." She scrunched her face up in disgust. "Ew, I don't even want to think about it. Nasty. And you need to stop watching _When Harry… Met Sally_. Besides, I think you and Edward would make great friends."

And so the next day, I found myself standing in front of Edward's door with Alice tucked neatly by my side. His mother answered the door and my first thought was, "She's beautiful and her son better have gotten all the bad genes or there will be trouble."

"Alice, why are you knocking? You know you can come in whenever you want," his mother admonished.

"I know, Esme, but I didn't want Jasper to feel strange about it," Alice replied, walking past Esme. "Oh, and that's Jasper," she said pointing behind her as way of introduction.

I held out my hand. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen." Instead of a handshake, she pulled me in for a hug.

"It's Esme dear, please don't make me feel older by calling me Mrs. Cullen," she smiled. She turned and led me into the house after Alice. "Edward's in the kitchen if you want him." She patted me on the back and disappeared into what looked like the living room.

Alice and I walked into the kitchen where we saw a bronze-haired boy… no, a man… no, a god… Yes, a god. He was standing with a carton of milk tilted towards his mouth. I took in every inch of him, from the wild hair, to the way his throat was poised to receive the milk and I thought of how it would move swallowing other things. I blinked a few times trying to rid myself of the image. Up to that point, I had never thought of myself as gay or even bi-sexual, but I knew it was okay to appreciate a good form no matter the gender.

Edward finally looked at us, at me. He was beautiful. Even at the tender age of fifteen, I could see the man in him developing - the chiseled bones, the sharp nose, the deep green orbs. I was getting fucking poetic over this guy. His eyes explored me and I felt myself flush under the scrutiny. Our eyes met briefly and I realized something was wrong.

He was… angry.

I _knew_ then there was more to the innocent relationship Alice described to me. He was jealous and he was angry that I stepped onto his territory. That was the only explanation for the death glare he gave me. Yet, even with the fire in his eyes, I was inexplicably drawn to him. My fate was sealed with that look.

I snapped out of my reverie when I heard Alice yell for Edward to come back. She was disturbed by his reaction to me and ran after him. Not sure what else to do, I went into the living room. I figured I could gleam some information from his mother, but she wasn't there. I moved about the room and noticed some pictures of Edward. One particular photo caught my eye.

It was a picture of Edward on the beach holding up a surfboard. He had a slight tan and his hair was a lighter shade from the sun, the colors only worked to accentuate the emerald of his eyes. Even through the picture it felt as though he was staring directly at me, through me, down to my core. I felt almost exposed, yet the smile was carefree and inviting. His body was lean, fit. I traced my thumb along the body wondering how it would feel to actually have my fingers on him, caressing him.

I placed the picture back on the ledge just as Alice walked in.

"That was weird. Edward says he's sorry about before. Apparently he's not feeling well or something," she shrugged. "We'll come back another day. You ready to go?"

I took one final look at Edward knowing I had to leave whatever I felt for him alone. I had a beautiful girlfriend and even if she never elicited the same feelings from me as Edward did in just one minute, she was still perfect for me. "Yeah, I'm ready."

**^FDM^**

"The way you ran away, I swore you were the jealous, stilted best friend. I didn't believe Alice when she said you were sick, you didn't give me the death glare because you were sick," I snickered. "What was going on with you?"

"Honestly? I thought you were hot as fuck," Edward admitted, somewhat bashfully. "It was the first time I'd ever…" he trailed off. His eyes flickered to me, "You know…"

"Uh, noooo. I'm not sure-"

He let out a frustrated sigh. "I never found guys attractive," he confessed. "Until you…"

"Oh. OH!"

"Exactly. I was completely confused and then angry at myself for wanting someone I obviously couldn't have."

"But, you could have had me. Lord knows, Edward, I wanted you the moment I saw you, too."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Well, no I couldn't. First, I didn't know you were gay. Second, you were dating Alice and I could tell then she was totally in love with you. I wouldn't have done that to her. And third, well, I was into girls. There was no way I could be into a guy, a man. I was ashamed at myself for even thinking of it."

I understood completely. I was just as confused as he had been but I was okay with knowing I liked him. My family had taught me that there was no shame in loving everyone; it just made you a better person.

We sat in companionable silence, me looking at Edward taking in every bit of him, and Edward staring into the fire. I watched the way his back expanded with air with every breath he took, the way he pouted slightly when he was deep in thought.

"Can I ask you a question?" Edward asked breaking the silence. I nodded. "Why did you marry Alice? I mean, if you knew you were gay, why do that to her?"

I let out a deep breath before answering. "Well, I never identified myself as gay. I hate labels. But, I loved Alice. She completed me in ways no one else could. She was perfect for me and she gave me Peter. I don't regret one moment of my life with her. She knew, or at least suspected I was attracted to men and she even once told me she was okay with me being with a man if I needed it."

Edward's eyes opened wide. "She said that? I would never have guessed she would go for that. She always seemed so possessive."

I chuckled, "No, she was completely selfless, but it didn't matter. If anything, I was the jealous and possessive one. There was no one out there I wanted anyway, except you. When you met Bella though, something in me snapped. I didn't think she was the right person for you. I kept my mouth shut though because I saw the way you looked at her and vice versa. At your wedding, I was ready to implode. Alice had to pull me to the side to calm me down. I wanted to be with you on the dance floor. I was insanely jealous of Bella at that moment. She had you for the rest of her life in every way possible."

"But, Alice…"

"Understood. I told you, she was very understanding. Well, not at that moment she wasn't," I smiled at the memory. "She was ready to have my balls, more because of the scene I was willing to cause than anything. She had to remind me that you were with Bella and that was the choice you made and I couldn't take that away from you. It was awkward for a while between us, but as much as I wanted you, I couldn't live without Alice. So I resigned myself to the fact that I'd never have you." I gave him a grim smile.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For what? You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't know how I felt about you. You couldn't have known, nor did I expect you to know."

"I left you alone all these years because I couldn't admit my own feelings."

"Don't," I demanded. I moved to sit next to him, our thighs touching, and wrapped my arm around his shoulders. "Don't do that to yourself. God, Edward, you lost Bella, you lost your mother, and you lost Alice. I don't know how you survived; I don't think I could have. Yes, I lost Alice, but I have Peter. I couldn't have disappeared even if I wanted to. Peter's been a blessing. He's the one that keeps me afloat."

"Regardless, Jasper," he said turning to face me, "I still wasn't there for you and I didn't allow you to be there for me either. I completely closed myself off." He shook his head. "It was wrong and it was a waste of time."

"What do you want me to say, Edward?"

"Forgive me. Forgive me for being an asshole these past years," he pleaded.

"Okay, I forgive you," I stated flatly.

"Just like that?" he asked looking at me with confusion.

I shrugged. "Yes, just like that. I will forgive you if that is what you want, but there is nothing to forgive. You're here now and that's all that matters. We can move on… together," I said, hope dripping from my words.

Edward gave me a big smile, but just as he moved in to, I assume kiss me, Peter came running into the living room and pounced on us. We laughed at his enthusiasm and deep down I hoped he would eventually understand my relationship with Edward.

**^FDM^**

There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Can I come in?" Edward asked through the door.

I mumbled a yes as I continued shaving.

"Jesus, you really do take forever to get ready. I thought I was bad. We're going to be late if you don't hurry though," he winked. He leaned against the doorjamb, his legs crossed at the ankle, looking delicious.

"Edward, unfortunately for me, I don't have the just-got-out-of-bed hair that you sport so brilliantly. I need to work at looking good," I noted.

"Hey, this look takes time, too," he protested. I gave him a side-long glance, smirked and wiped the remaining cream from my face.

"I'll be done in a few. Rosie should be here soon to pick up Peter."

"Oh, she's here already. That's the other reason I came up. I figured you'd want to say bye to Peter before they left."

"Ah, thank you. I'll be right out then." Edward left, shutting the door behind him.

Rosalie, my sister, was taking Peter for the night to celebrate the New Year with her, Emmett and their children. She was giving me and Edward the best belated Christmas present ever - time alone together. It'd been two weeks since Edward showed up on my doorstep and while I wanted to take things slowly with him, I was also a man and seeing him walking around my home half naked at times was killing me. I was desperate to make him mine.

Edward and I were going to a Latin restaurant for dinner and dancing. It was something I had always wanted to do with Alice, but never had the chance. I thought it was a good way of starting new with Edward instead, not to mention the fact that I would be dancing close, extra close, with him. I smiled at myself with the thought and felt a stirring in my boxers. Before it could develop into a full blown erection though, I walked out to finish getting ready for the evening.

Fifteen minutes later, we said our goodbyes to my son and Rosalie and headed to the restaurant.

"I'm really looking forward to this evening, Jasper," Edward said softly as we settled into the car. He was facing the car window so I didn't know for sure if he meant it or was just placating me.

"Hey, look at me," I called to him making him turn to me. I grabbed hold of his and gently squeezed. "I'm ecstatic." I leaned forward and whispered, "By the way, I have plans for you tonight." I smirked as I saw his face turn pink even the in dim light of the car, but when he gave me a genuine smile, I knew the rest of the evening would be fine.

And it was.

We ate and drank everything that was offered, from the empanadas to the ox tail – something I never had before, but was nonetheless delicious, albeit messy – and all the margaritas, daiquiris and champagne we could drink. Dancing with Edward was everything I imagined. Having his body pressed to mine was downright intoxicating. Smelling him, touching him, moving with him – it was all doing too much for my ever hardening cock. The new year couldn't come fast enough.

In the two weeks that Edward had been back, we had shared small, sweet kisses, but nothing passionate or all-consuming. We were both scared, nervous even, of anything more…

But when the clock struck midnight and everyone shouted, "Happy New Year!" I looked into Edward's eyes and knew I found my home; there was nothing to be nervous about. I pressed my lips to his, gently at first, just feeling the softness, but I couldn't hold back and it seemed neither could he. We both brought our hands up to cup each other's faces and the urgency in our kiss spoke volumes. Tongues crossed, lips were bitten, and dominance was fought for and won on both sides. We couldn't get enough of each other's taste. At least I knew I wanted more.

We finally broke apart to gather a much needed breath.

"Take me home, Jasper."

Wordlessly, I took his hand and dragged him to the parking lot. When we reached the car, I gave Edward another forceful kiss before heading to the driver's side and taking off.

We arrived and practically ran into the house. We were both so eager, bursting with excitement. As soon as we were inside, I pushed Edward against the door.

"Are you ready for this?" I growled in his ear. He nodded vigorously. "I promise to try and be as gentle as possible, but it's going to be hard to control myself once I start with you," I warned.

"I'm ready. I want it. I want you, please," he panted. I turned, grabbing his hand, and led him upstairs to the bedroom.

"Take off your clothes," I commanded. He blushed but did as told. I stood watching him as he first bent down to take off his shoes, and then straightened to unbutton his shirt. My eyes traveled down his torso as it was slowly revealed – he truly was a sight to behold. My eyes continued down and stopped at the prominent bulge he was sporting. Yes, he wanted this as much as I did.

"Are you going to just stand there all night or are you going to undress as well?" he asked giving me a smug grin.

"I'm enjoying the show," I replied with a grin of my own, "but I'll indulge you."

I removed my clothes quickly and smirked when Edward's eyes widened as he saw that I had gone commando for the night. Then he licked his lips…

I was on him in seconds, my hands in his hair as I ravished his mouth. We fell onto the bed, a tangled mess of limbs.

"God, Jasper, I want you, I never thought I would want you this badly, but…"

"Shhh… no more talking, just feel." I covered his mouth with mine again and let my hands roam his body. My fingers traced along his abs and arms, down his thighs. He hissed when I found a sensitive spot so I lingered and watched him writhe under me.

I kissed his neck, his collarbone, and down to his nipples. I bit gently on them and heard him moan with pleasure. I smiled, knowing I was the one making him feel good. I continued down, licking the lines of his muscles all the way to the v.

"Has anyone ever told you how delicious you are, Edward?" He mumbled a response that I assumed was no. "That's a shame, you are quite tasty."

I moved further down, grazing his cock with my nose and sniffing. All man. I took a tentative lick at his slit, tasting the liquid that had pooled there. "Sinful." His hips bucked up and I held him down.

"I don't think I can handle anymore teasing, Jasper," he groaned. Who was I to deny him?

I wrapped my lips around the head and swirled my tongue. I heard a low "fuck" come from him and slowly moved my head down taking more of him into my mouth.

"More," he demanded. I felt his hands on my head pushing me down. His actions forced his cock to the back of my throat and, though I gagged, it turned me on even more. My cock was aching, but this was about Edward, not me.

I let him fuck my mouth, loving this aggressive side of him. I opened my throat more wanting to swallow him if I could.

"God…. Fuck…. Jas… I…." He shot his cum down my throat and I greedily swallowed all of him.

I climbed back up alongside him, watching as his body continued to shake with the aftershocks from his orgasm.

"Taste yourself," I whispered before kissing him. It was his turn to be greedy as he lapped at my tongue.

He pulled away and I saw shame in his eyes. Before I could ask what was wrong he spoke. "You didn't come. I'm sorry. What can I do?"

I placed a finger on his lips to quiet him. "Oh, Edward, we're not finished yet," I said with a wicked grin. I turned away, reaching into my nightstand and taking out the lube and condom I had placed in there earlier in the evening. Always the boy scout; always prepared.

Edward's face held a hint of confusion, but the lust was clearly evident. "I've never-"

I shook my head. "Neither have I, at least not with a man."

"But, you said Alice-"

"She gave me permission to be with other men, yes. But, remember what I said? There was no one I wanted more than you," I clarified. "I didn't want anybody else. Only you. It's always been you."

"Fuck me, Jasper," he said looking directly in my eyes. He wanted this – us. I wanted us.

"I love you, Edward."

He leaned up and kissed me. "I love you, too, Jasper, but please be gentle," he smirked.

I had to laugh and gave him another kiss. "Spread your legs and bend them."

"You don't want me on my knees?" he asked.

"No, I want to look in your eyes while I make love to you." He smiled for me and I fell in love with him even more.

I popped the cap of the lube and poured some on my fingers. Edward's eyes followed my fingers as I rubbed the lube on his entrance.

He flinched at the coldness. "That feels weird."

"Did Bella ever play with you here?" I asked. He shook his head. "Pity. Relax, baby," I said as I eased one finger inside. He was so tight. I wasn't sure how I was going to last when I finally entered him. He hissed at the intrusion. "Relax," I repeated, kissing his neck.

The tension slowly left his body and he began to move against my finger. "Not so weird anymore," he chuckled. "Gimme more." I obliged him again, inserting another finger. "Fuck, Jasper," he breathed.

When I felt him relax again, I moved my fingers more and really began fucking him. Or rather, he fucked my hand. My cock throbbed wanting to replace my fingers, but I knew I had to ease Edward into it since it was his first time being played with there. I added one more digit spreading him open for me.

"God, yes!" he screamed. "More, I want you, please," he begged.

I moved between his legs and removed my fingers. I heard him whimper at the loss and I smirked. "You'll have something better very soon."

I grabbed the condom and ripped open the packet. Again, Edward followed with his eyes. I unrolled the condom onto my cock and rubbed the lube on it. I reapplied some on Edward's waiting hole as well. After I was done, I inserted my fingers again to make sure he was still open for me.

"Now," he growled. I placed my cock his opening and gently pushed in. He winced slightly, being that it was his first time. While it was my first time with a man, I understood what needed to be done from the experiences with Alice and how easy to go.

"Just relax, baby, I'll move again when you're ready," I assured him. He nodded and I was grateful. If I moved any further in, I was bound to come and I wanted this to last more than thirty seconds.

After what felt like forever, but was probably a few seconds, he circled his hips and allowed me to come into him more. I slid in another inch and stopped again. Looking down, I noticed that Edward was getting hard again and his pre-cum was dripping out. At that moment I wished I was flexible enough to fuck him and suck him at the same time. Instead, I passed my thumb over the slit, gathering the moisture.

"Open, Edward," I commanded, rubbing my thumb over his bottom lip. "Taste." His tongue darted out and licked, sucking in my thumb. "Edward," I breathed, "You're a naughty boy."

"More, Jas," he panted.

I hovered over him, my arms on either side of his face. "Play with yourself, jerk yourself while I fuck your tight ass." As soon as his hand was on his cock, I pushed all the way in until I was completely enveloped in his warm hole. We both gasped at the intensity of the feeling. He was so tight, it was heavenly. "Fuuuuuuck." I lowered my head to Edward's shoulder.

_Don't come yet, don't come yet_. I took several deep breaths chanting to myself. I didn't want to move for fear that it would be over before it started.

I felt his hand moving between us as he masturbated. I pulled out slightly and gave a tentative thrust back in. When I knew I wasn't going to blow my load, I sped up my movements until I had a rhythm that we both liked. Soon, we were fucking each other fast and deep. I shifted his hips up and must have hit a spot because Edward screamed out. I stopped, worried that I had hurt him.

"Keep going. You didn't hurt me."

I focused my thrusts to the spot that had Edward writhing and clenching around me. I was getting close to the edge and I hoped Edward was close too. His eyes closed and his back arched.

"Look at me, Edward… Look at me."

His eyes snapped open and stared directly into mine. I saw lust, a hint of fear, but more importantly love and I knew he saw the same in me. It was our undoing.

His mouth opened in a silent scream and he shot his load between us, coating both of our abs. He tightened as he came and the sensation caused me to spill inside him. I screamed out a string of expletives then his name. I fell on top of him, completely spent.

When I could speak, I uttered "That was…" I trailed off. I didn't think any word could come close to describing what had happened between us.

"Explosive?" Edward snickered at his double entendre.

"Yes," I smirked, "but it was so much more than that." I rose up to my elbows and looked at him. "That was the start of something wonderful…if you'll have me," I finished quietly.

Edward cupped my face in his two hands. "I want you forever, Jasper." He gave chaste kiss. "Happy New Year, love."

Happy New Year indeed.


End file.
